Carli's Journal

 Reflecting on my friendships, I remember a time when I had two close friends, and we all shared a strong bond. We spent a lot of time together, each having our own individual relationships but also coming together as a trio. However, everything changed when one of my friends got pregnant and had a child. The dynamics between us shifted, and I began to feel increasingly excluded from the group. At first, the friend who had the child began to focus more on her new role as a mother, understandably prioritizing her child’s needs. But as time passed, I noticed that the other friend also started distancing herself from me, spending more time with the new mom and less with me. I felt as though both of them were leaving me out, and the sense of closeness we once shared seemed to fade. This situation reminded me of  relational dialectics theory , discussed in Chapter 13, which emphasizes the tension between  connection and autonomy  in friendships. My friends’ new roles in m...

 Reflecting on my family dynamics, particularly with my grandmother, brings to mind some complex feelings about family relationships. Growing up, I observed that my grandmother often showed a preference for her biological grandkids—her daughter's children—over her stepgrandkids, which created a noticeable divide in the family. As my father was her husband's son, I, as a stepgrandchild, was often left out of the special attention and favoritism that my cousins (her biological grandchildren) received. This dynamic aligns with  family communication patterns , a concept discussed in Chapter 12, which emphasizes how families often communicate in ways that reflect their values, expectations, and power structures. My grandmother’s favoritism can be understood through the lens of  bias in family relationships , where biological ties are sometimes seen as more significant or valued than stepfamily connections. These patterns of communication within families can lead to conflict an...

 This week, I had a conversation with my boyfriend that made me reflect on the dynamics in our relationship. We were talking about the balance between spending time together and managing our individual responsibilities. I expressed that I sometimes feel like we need more quality time, while he mentioned that he needs space to focus on his personal goals. This interaction reminded me of  Relational Dialectics Theory , which suggests that romantic relationships are shaped by competing tensions, like  autonomy vs. connection  (Macmillan Learning, 2024). The tension we were experiencing stemmed from the desire for closeness while also needing the freedom to focus on personal tasks. We navigated this tension by discussing our needs openly and coming to a compromise. We agreed to dedicate more time on weekends for activities together but also respect each other's personal space during the week. This approach aligns with the principle of  negotiation  discussed in...

 Today, I took some time to reflect on a relationship maintenance strategies worksheet about my relationship with my partner. This activity helped me deepen my understanding of how we work together to keep our connection strong, even when things get tough. A big takeaway is how open and consistent communication is a cornerstone for us. When we face differences, we both make a conscious effort to listen to each other. We don’t let misunderstandings linger, which prevents small issues from snowballing. Knowing that my partner values my opinions just as I value theirs makes our relationship feel secure and balanced. We've developed a strong mutual respect for each other's space and boundaries. It feels good to know that we both understand the importance of "me time" and encourage each other to pursue personal interests. This balance keeps our relationship healthy and lets us grow individually. Something interesting I realized is that we both lean towards a compromising a...