Relationships with Friends

 Reflecting on my friendships, I remember a time when I had two close friends, and we all shared a strong bond. We spent a lot of time together, each having our own individual relationships but also coming together as a trio. However, everything changed when one of my friends got pregnant and had a child. The dynamics between us shifted, and I began to feel increasingly excluded from the group.

At first, the friend who had the child began to focus more on her new role as a mother, understandably prioritizing her child’s needs. But as time passed, I noticed that the other friend also started distancing herself from me, spending more time with the new mom and less with me. I felt as though both of them were leaving me out, and the sense of closeness we once shared seemed to fade.

This situation reminded me of relational dialectics theory, discussed in Chapter 13, which emphasizes the tension between connection and autonomy in friendships. My friends’ new roles in motherhood likely increased their need for connection with each other, but this shift left me feeling like an outsider. The tension between wanting to maintain their individual connections with me and focusing on their new roles as mothers created an unspoken conflict.

Additionally, this situation also illustrates the maintenance of friendships, where changes in life stages, such as parenthood, can challenge the existing balance in friendships. The exclusion I felt highlighted how friendship dynamics can evolve, often requiring adjustment and renegotiation of boundaries and expectations to maintain closeness.

Cited Concepts: Relational Dialectics Theory, Maintenance of Friendships, Macmillan Learning, 2024.




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